The Island War
by Lord of Thorns
Summary: A newspaper publishes a questionable story, igniting a war between four worm armies.  Will this cause the end of all worms?  Rated T just in case.
1. The Newspaper

**Disclaimer: I do ****NOT**** own Worms**

This is my first story, the daunting task to put a magnificent idea in my head onto paper. This story may be great or a unquestionable failure, enjoy.

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><p><em>Waiting for the break of day<em>

_Searching for something to say_

_Flashing lights against the sky_

_Giving up I close my eyes_

_Sitting cross-legged on the floor_

_25 or 6 to 4_

_Staring blindly into space_

_Getting up to sp-_

_*Crash*_

"Sigurn!" yelled a small high-pitched worm, "I was listening to that!"

"Well I was tired of listening to that Freya!" Sigurn bellowed back. Freya immediately shut-up, something about his deep voice and thick Scottish accent would do that to anyone. Yet Sigurn kept rambling on.

"I was fine with that song for the first 3,000 or so times but once you reached the three-thousand and first time, that's when I became very, _very_, angry. I still tolerated for the next two hundred times, but it finally drove me to the point of hitting it with a baseball bat."

Sigurn continued to rattle on for about half an hour before he realized no one was listening, then squirmed out to get the mail. He rose into sight at the moment the mailworm touched the ground. He instantaneously charged out and snatched up the paper, at first sight of the front page his usual frown turned into a deep scowl. He turned to the mailworm to strike him with the paper, but saw that the worm had taken off on jetpack. Rhubarb, his very large third worm, had risen up out of the ground to get the mail not knowing that Sigurn had already received it. As soon as Sigurn noticed him he charged over to show him the headline. Rhubarb read it and also started to scowl.

_Meanwhile, on an island relatively far away._

DragonFace, leader of the Elite Force, woke up and put on his usual deep purple dragon mask. Very few worms had seen his face because he constantly wore his mask, and with a very good reason.

When he was a young little worm, his father, in one of his blind, drunken rages, turned a flamethrower on poor DragonFace, burning his face beyond repair and recognition. From that point on he always wore a dragon mask, earning him his name.

Anyway, he stepped outside to get the mail, and saw a newspaper lying on the ground. He could just see the headline from where he was standing: **Leader of the Gods Declares War on Three Other Teams.** DragonFace was intrigued by this so he picked up the newspaper and continued to read.

_Sigurn, leader of the Gods has issued a war challenge against three other teams, Liquid Silk, which is led by PurpleLite, Kilburn Del, led by Log, and the Elite Force, led by DragonFace. The war is expected to be withot any alliances because Log does not get along well with DragonFace, DragonFace does not agree with Sigurn, and PurpleLite haets everybody. Severl other teams are expected to show up and watch the war if they can find it. We also have coments from some of those teams._

_Team Chesh replied to our questions with, "I hope Sigurn loses, no one should declare war out of the blu."_

_Evil Team replied with, "Yes! Evil plan Working! __**:)**_

_And finally the Military Wurms replied with, "We hope they all los, than we can take over teh islands easier."_

_We are sorry for all typos in the paper, we just hired a new press worm and we had to sack him because he was doing a terrible job. Thank You and have a nice day._

DragonFace was so shocked at this report that he had to check the title to make sure it wasn't _The Onion_, and that the postal service hadn't screwed up again. After he ascertained that it wasn't a clever hoax he gathered his troops, Blasted, Flash, and Tombstone (Tomb), and headed to Harvest Island to gather food.

_Meanwhile on an island not as far away as the previous one._

Log was sitting outside enjoying the day and watching Dr. X and Dr. Stupid attempt to beat the crap out of each other. It was no contest, there was no possibility that Dr. Stupid would win, he had an IQ of 20, it was a wonder he could squirm and talk. Dr. Stupid threw a punch an Dr. X and his fist was caught, Dr. X then proceeded to kick him repeatedly in the face with his tail, threw a punch back at Dr. Stupid and in turn, his fist was eaten. At this point Log had to intervene, he squirmed up to Dr. Stupid yelling, "Spit his fist out!" After several minutes and the aide of a sledgehammer, Dr. Stupid finally spit it out and was promptly hit in the face with the very same fist. At this point Log noticed the mailworm, who was parachuting down with a newspaper in one hand and a DVD copy of _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ in the other.

"Got a special edition of the newspaper for you." spoke the mailworm.

"I don't care about that," said Log, his voice noticeably giddy with excitement, "Give me the movie.

"I really think you want to read this," he replied.

"I want the movie."

"No, really you should read this"

"Give me the movie."

"Read the paper."

"The movie."

"Paper."

"Movie."

"Paper!"

"Movie!"

"Paper!"

"Movie!"

"Read the paper or I will break the movie!"

"Break the movie an I will cut your head off!"

"I will cancel your subscription to _Cat Fancy_ magazines if you don't read the paper."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

The arguing would have gone on for several more hours if Dr. Stupid hadn't gotten his head stuck in a pickle jar, his left hand stuck in a vacuum cleaner, and his tail stuck in a microwave oven that Dr. X was now starting.

"Dr. X!" spoke Log in a very stentorian tone.

"But sir! I- I- I'm sorry." said Dr. X sounding very defeated.

"Now, you good sir knight-."

"Hey, I'm Jim, the Mail Delivery Worm."

"Like I care, I'll read the paper if you free Dr. Stupid over there."

"Deal."

_So Dr. Stupid was freed, the mailworm left with his head still attached, and Log became very angry at the war declaration. Now in case you were wondering, I, the new narrator, speak with a British accent because the old narrator was killed by Sigurn in a fit of rage. Next we shall visit the place of Liquid Silk. The team I personally find the most annoying, led by PurpleLite, who is the father of Sigurn, DragonFace, Dragon, and Darth Vader, who "accidentally" got his tongue stuck to a warm pole, who almost drowned on dry land, and who has the longest losing streak on Black Ops._

_Meanwhile on an island about far enough away for two swallows to migrate while carrying a coconut between them._

"PurpleLite! PurpleLite! Did you get the newspaper yet?" Screeched one Log jacked up on enough caffeine to make a sloth run a marathon.

"Hey!" PurpleLite yelled back, "I'm taking my mid morning nap."

"Oh! You mean the one between your early morning and late morning naps?"

"Yes! Now will you shut up."

"After you read the paper."

"The mail hasn't even arrived yet."

"Of course it has. Didn't you hear the narrator? The distance is only far enough away for two swallows to migrate while carrying a coconut between them."

_Hey! I said that!_

"I know! I said that you said that ."

_As long as you said that I said that I am fine with you saying that._

"Hey!" Bellowed PurpleLite, "I will read the paper if both of you shut up."

_Spoil sport_

"I heard that!"

_You Were Meant To!_

"I can _not_ believe this newspaper." hollered Log.

"Silence! I am trying to read this."

"No, seriously a 1960's era Police Public Call box has been sighted in Utah."

"I can not believe Sigurn would do that!"

"I know, why would he fool worms into believing the Doctor has arrived."

"No, not that you fool, the war declaration!"

_Just give it up. He has enough caffeine to make people mistake his heartbeat for that of a hummingbird._

"Well PurpleLite, shall we head to Harvest Island?"

_I for one think it is a marvelous idea._

"Yeah, but you're the narrator, you no something we don't."

_Of course, and you spelled "know" wrong._

"How could you possibly know that I spelled a word wrong when I _spoke_ the word."

_Well... I am the narrator._

"Silence!" screeched PurpleLite, "We will head there if both of you will SHUT UP!"

_Someone is a bit grumpy._

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><p>Yes! Chapter one complete. Please leave a review so I know what to improve on and when to stop rambling in the story. I will sprinkle Monty Python, Doctor Who, and other miscellaneous references everywhere throughout the story.<p>

Who raises the most suspicion?

What will happen when annelids collide?

When will all this happen?

Where is my pen!

How will the upcoming war affect all worm kind?

Why won't I stop asking questions?

All this shall be answered eventually.


	2. The Meeting

_Now on Harvest Island_

A lone worm stood inside his base, looking out the window over the beautiful landscape that was his home. Harvest Island was a large landscape teeming with magnificently large fruit and vegetables. It was on this island that all worms and every team in the island chain got their food from. Still, despite all the unchanged islands still available for teams, one still chose to make this their home. This island was a neutral spot for all teams to meet, anywhere else and teams would try to settle past grievances. Thanks to the neutrality of this island, the team who lived here had no fear of raids or attacks. Sighing, the lone worm turned around, wondering whether everything would turn out as planned, without any negative consequences. Soon two of his teammates rushed through the doorway screaming and yelling.

"Joe Bananas! Joe Bananas!" Screeched Ming.

"What! You two are constantly driving me insane." Roared the lone worm.

"Well, you see… Mao um… he uh…"

"I did not!" Screamed Mao.

"Alright, shut up, both of you! We'll start with you Ming."

"Well, you see… Mao um… he uh… he um… he stole my stuffed Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog."

"I did not! You stole my Legendary Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!"

"You two shut up before I glue you together and stuff you in a Giant Watermelon!"

"He started it. " Spoke Ming tentatively.

"No he did!" Mao bellowed without hesitation.

"Honestly, you two are as bad as little kids."

"We are not!" The two screeched in unison.

"That's it! Go to your rooms!"

The two squirmed away mumbling under their breath. Joe Bananas sighed again, one of these days he was going to get a better team. He squirmed over and gazed out the window, admiring the gentle hills and dark soil of the island. He knew that a battle or war or even a skirmish could mean the end of his team, the Evil Team. Things could go bad quickly, but he still had to give his team some credit. After all, Ming was an expert sniper and Mao came up with the idea to buy out the newspaper and print that story. Still he wished the two would just grow up. He continued to gaze out upon the island and thought that, just maybe, he could see a team arriving in the distance. That thought put a smile on his face, the first one in months, and one thought other than that kept repeating in his head: _This might just work after all._

_Meanwhile, on the other side of Harvest Island_

DragonFace stood on the shore, his teammates gathered around him. He looked around, observing the Giant Corn that they were in the midst of. He could barely see the base of the Evil Team in the distance. He turned to Flash and asked him to go find the Giant Grapes. Flash raced off at his usual unnatural speed. DragonFace would have been visibly upset if he were not wearing his mask, only this one was black and was made of actual dragon scales. None of his teammates had any clue about the newspaper. Luckily after standing around in uncomfortable silence Flash came racing back.

"DragonFace, the grapes are over in that direction," spoke Flash pointing out the direction.

"Good, just what we need. Come along now, hurry," replied DragonFace, his voice did not hold a Scottish accent like his brothers accent.

_Meanwhile, in the middle of the ocean_

"Okay, Okay," said Log, his voice giddy with excitement and caffeine, "What is brown, has a head, a tail, but no legs?"

"Log," spoke PurpleLite, his voice weary because he missed his late morning, early afternoon, and mid afternoon naps, "I do not want to do this anymore."

_Oh come on, this is perfectly enjoyable._

"Will someone answer my question already?" asked Log

_Wait, which question? The original one or the more recent one._

"The one about the head and tail."

_That one is easy, a penny._

"How about this one. What animal is known as the harbinger of death?"

_That one is tricky. I need to think about it._

"If you two won't shut the hell up I am going to swim there," PurpleLite screamed.

_No, you won't._

"I'm serious, I will swim."

_No, you won't._

"I will, just watch me."

_You really won't._

"Why?"

_Because worms can't swim_

"An owl."

_What?_

"The answer is an owl."

_What are you talking about?_

"Look we're here," cheered Log with four more coffees and a Mountain Dew now in his system.

Dr. X and Dr. Stupid instantly woke up, and Crashing and Treewick stopped trying to push each other overboard. All the worms jumped off the boat and proceeded deeper into the Giant Lettuce patch.

_Meanwhile, on the island the Gods live on near the teleport pad._

"Sigurn. Why are we stocking up on weapons?" Asked a small, annoyingly high-pitched worm by the name of Freya.

"Because we are heading to Harvest Island and I think we may be attacked while there," replied Sigurn. At that moment Rhubarb squirmed in carrying several grenades, a Sentry Gun, an Emergency Teleport, and three headbands, one for fire punches, one for dragon balls, and one for kamikazes.

"I think we're all set Sigurn," said Rhubarb.

"Alright then, on to the teleport."

As they teleported out Freya started singing _We're off to See the Wizard_ for some stupid, annoying reason.

_Meanwhile, back on Harvest Island_

Joe Bananas stood staring out his window and nearly had a heart attack when Sigurn appeared right in front of the window.

"Hello Joe Bananas. Do you know where the corn is? I'm planning to make a crop circle."

"Hi Sigurn, which corn do you mean?" answered Joe Bananas.

"The Giant Corn should be fine."

"It is northeast of here."

"Thanks, and have any other teams arrived here yet?"

"No, not yet," lied Joe Bananas. Joe Bananas started to leer as he watched the Gods squirm away. The same thought grew stronger in his mind: _This really might work._

_Near the Giant Corn, the Giant Grapes, the Giant Lettuce, and the Swallow nest on the coconut tree._

_I am very excited, it should be easy to tell. I successfully led two teams to a war zone. Now if only I could get PurpleLite killed, then it would be the best day ever for me._

"Mr. Narrator person," Log yelled up to the heavens.

_What do you want?_

"What are you talking about up there?"

_Oh, nothing, I am just talking to myself._

"I thought I heard you say something about a war zone?"

_Would you look at the time, I have to go._

"No! Please don't leave me! I love you Mr. Narrator person! Why! Why cruel world!" Log then proceeded to break into sobs and sniffles.

**Who forgot to give him his medications! **A disembodied voice boomed these words.

"God," Log looked up towards the sky in wonder, "is that you?"

**No, this is Sigurn. I have a megaphone.**

"Are you sure you're not god?"

**I am not God. I do work for him once in awhile though.**

"Really," Log's look of wonder turned into a look of awe.

**Yes, I am the Grim Reaper.**

Log started to scream in terror and immediately passed out.

"Thank you Sigurn. If you hadn't pretended to be the Grim Reaper we would never get his medication in him," said PurpleLite.

"Two things, one: You could have put it in his coffee. Two: I was not pretending."

_No! That cannot be true!_

At the sound of the narrators voice Log stood back up and PurpleLite passed out. At that moment, DragonFace and his team squirmed out from the Giant Grapes, and immediately froze at the sight of Sigurn.

"_You_," said DragonFace, his voice dark with anger, "What are you doing here?"

"Same reason you are here, for food," Sigurn answered quite simply.

"Is anyone going to ask why I am here?" Log asked, his voice sounding very childish.

"Why did you declare war," PurpleLite yelled.

_Yes, why?_

"It wasn't me," Sigurn answered.

"Liar," DragonFace screeched.

"Will you marry me Mr. Narrator Person?" Log proposed, his voice still high from helium and seventy-six Red Bulls.

**Quick, someone get him his medication,** a disembodied voice boomed.

_Hurry someone, God has spoken._

At the sound of the Voice Sigurn, DragonFace, and Rhubarb grabbed Log and held him down while PurpleLite injected his medication.

"No, I will not be silenced! I shall come back from the grave and eat your spaghetti! I will tear your action figures limb from limb and set fire to their remains! I will-."

_At which point Log started to nap and the entire world was saved. The end._

**It is not the end! Why do you lie I must ask!**

_Well, you see I wanted to make dramatic effect. You should yell at the writer not me; he is the one who is attempting to make me look bad._

"Hey, you're making yourself look bad," Sigurn shouted towards the sky.

_Nevertheless, it is his fault, he is governing our lives._

"No he isn't, I don't see him anywhere."

_It's his fault and that's final._

"No it isn't, his story is taking its own turns," PurpleLite yelled upwards.

**Hey, stop the philosophy and the debating and get on with the war!**

_Fine, I have a starter pistol._

**No! Do not do that, the sheer amount of decibels from that gun gives even me headaches.**

"Besides, we choose when the war begins," spoke Freya, adding his two cents.

"And someone tell the Doctor to park his TARDIS elsewhere," said DragonFace.

"Can everyone shut up? I am trying to sleep," said Log, his voice weary.

_No, the war is starting. Everyone is going to start shooting soon._

"Fine, hey does anyone have coffee?"

"_**NO!"**_ Every worm, the narrator, and God yelled simultaneously.

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><p><em>Dalach. <em>Hooray for Scottish-Gaelic. It _should _be translated to finished, but you can never be sure. Anyway, please review, I desperately want to improve on my writing skills but cannot unless I know what I am doing right and wrong. Next chapter, let there be excitement. Questions still to be answered:

What will happen when annelids collide?

Where is my pen?

How will the war affect all worm kind?

Why won't I stop asking questions?


	3. The War Begins

A solitary worm stood in the middle of a battlefield. He was a bit confused, there was a loud explosion then he blacked out. Now he was sitting there like a fool. The last thing he remembers was all the worms scattering after yelling _NO_. His name was Crashing, he knew that much, and he was wearing a hard metal hat on his head.

"Crashing!" Yelled Treewick, his teammate. Still at the sound of his voice, he drew his pistol and aimed it right between his eyes.

"Whoa there, it's me, Treewick."

"Who are you and what do you want," Crashing demanded.

"Seriously Crashing, I just told you who I am. I am a member of Liquid Silk, just like you. I want nothing from you."

"Okay, then who is our leader?" Crashing asked.

"PurpleLite is our leader. We better start moving, who knows where enemies are located." The two worms squirmed into the lettuce to hide.

_Meanwhile, in the grapes. You know, I really am getting bored of narrating. Well, at least Log isn't bugging me._

Freya dodged one punch, then another. Despite having half his brain removed by his brother, he was still smarter than Dr. Stupid was. He dodged another punch and got Dr. Stupid in the face with a dragon ball.

"Hey, what was that for?" Dr. Stupid asked.

"We're in a war you fool," Freya answered. At this point Freya started punching him in the face repeatedly, and then suddenly he was punching PurpleLite in the arm.

"What the hell just happened?"

**Sorry, that was me.**

PurpleLite looked up, "God?" he asked.

**No, it's Sigurn again. I just used an emergency teleport.**

"Well thanks for nothing," Freya started yelling, "I'm stuck near PurpleLite.

**Well, run then! Run like you never ran before! Run like the w- ouch.**

"Sorry Sigurn," Freya apologized.

"You squirm faster than Flash, I forgot about that."

_Hey, everyone. I found PurpleLite. He's over here, by the grapes. Someone kill him, quickly._

"Shut up you narrator"

_I will_ _not be silenced! I shall come back from the grave and eat your spaghetti! I will tear your action figures limb from limb and set fire to their remains! I will-_

***Boom***

"Sigurn, what the hell was that," Freya asked.

"Well, he was pissing me off, and he was copying Log with the seventy-six Red Bulls, with one hundred-ten coffees right behind, and they were followed by rows and rows of the greatest Mountain Dews."

"Stop referencing _The Music Man,_ and what happened to him?"

"Oh, yes I threw a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at him."

"So he's dead now?"

"Dead as a door mail."

"You mean door nail right?"

"Yes, what did I say?"

_Hello everybody, I'm the canoe narrator._

***Boom***

"What was that for?"

"What, he had a bad sense of humour."

"Sigurn, you spelt humor differently than usual."

_Hello, I'm the new narrator, I have a Russian accent. Also, the narrator you just killed did not have a sense of humor, he was narrating from a canoe. Therefore, he was a canoe narrator._

"Oops, my bad."

_Well, at least you now know not to judge a narrator by his hobbits._

"Do you mean habits or hobbies?"

_I accidentally mixed the two up._

"Ah!" They heard Freya scream in pain.

"Die, Die, Die!" Screamed a very annoyed Dr. Stupid as he repeatedly hit Freya with a baseball bat. Then there came the death bang. The small explosion that accompanies a worm dieing and hiding in their tombstone until their leader can retrieve it and revive them.

"Dr. Stupid!" Bellowed a now very angry Sigurn. At that moment every worm not on Dr. Stupid's side appeared around the corner.

"There he is! Get him!" All the worms started charging at him, carrying pitchforks, torches, and medieval flails (Oh my). Dr. Stupid started squirming as fast as he could away from them. He made it to the top of a hill and started to put on a jet pack.

"See you later suckers," Dr. Stupid yelled, then started laughing.

"No, Dr. Stupid, don't. Read the label!" Screamed Dr. X. (In a British accent) _But Dr. Stupid took no heed of the warning, he just took off._ _They all watched as he took off, everything was fine for the first few feet, and then came the trouble. His jet pack spluttered for a few seconds, then suddenly he was flying faster than normal. He spun and flipped a bit, then crashed into the ground in a great fiery explosion. All the worms stood around in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, the only word spoken by Sigurn, who said, "O-kaay?" Then all the worms squirmed away. There would be no revival for Dr. Stupid, for worms could not be revived if they explode in a vehicle, crash a jet pack, use a kamikaze or a starburst, or if they drowned. And you might ask just what the label said. The answer is: __**Warning, do not use this jet pack under any circumstances. It is faulty and will cause you to spin and flip until you crash into the ground, resulting in a permanent, fiery death. Also using this jet pack is a federal offense, and all violators will be forced to pay a $999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.987654321 fine.**_

"Nice British accent Russian narrator person, but you narrate too much," Sigurn yelled upwards.

_Well excuse me for accepting the job of narrator._

"You're the only narrator who was ever qualified for this job!"

_Oh, so now you're telling me I'm to good for this job?_

"Just don't narrate so much!"

_Fine, I won't._

_Meanwhile, in the Giant Watermelon patch. Why did I have to get stuck with this job? I don't like narrating rarely._

"Hey, Mr. Narrator Person," Log yelled towards the sky.

_What do you want?_

"Hey, you're not Mr. Narrator Person," Log realized.

_Are you talking about the one with the British accent, or the canoe narrator?_

"We had a canoe narrator? Why didn't I know about this?"

_We had a canoe narrator for about 10 seconds._

"Really? Where is Mr. Narrator Person?" Log screamed, "I loved him!"

_Everybody, his medication wore off already!_

_At that precise moment, Crashing and Treewick appeared and forced the medication into him. Log was visibly distressed at this and pulled out a stick of dynamite, hit the two with a baseball bat, pulled out a pneumatic drill and a girder. Then drilled down, threw the stick of dynamite up, placed a girder so the dynamite landed on it, gave the dynamite a really, really, long fuse, and prepared to light it. Oh, I forgot to mention, he also placed a decoy crate over the dynamite. Soon after, every worm squirmed over to the crate, all of them studying it. Sigurn and Freya were in the lead. Log hearing the commotion up top, lit the fuse. The worms sat mumbling for a few more minutes, then Freya lifted up the crate, revealing the dynamite. The only word spoken again by Sigurn, who said, "You idiot." The dynamite exploded, sending many worms flying, and most into their tombstones. Among those in their tombstones include: Freya (again), Rhubarb, Treewick, PurpleLite, and Blasted. In case you were wondering, Sigurn used a lightning strike on Freya after he was beaten by Dr. Stupid._

"Seriously," Sigurn yelled, "You narrate to much!"

_Meanwhile, by DragonFace._

"Tomb," DragonFace said, "You will be able to fight soon, just wait until one of our worms dies, besides Blasted, then you can battle."

"Thank you DragonFace," the very small worm said.

_Meanwhile, somewhere else._

"Okay Flash," said Log ominously, "say good-bye to your life."

"You won't take me that easily," Flash spit back.

"Just watch me, we are backing you up behind water, and I have Dr. X behind me."

"No you don't!" _So Log pulled out a baseball bat (he loves those), and hit Flash. As he was flying towards the water he pulled out a .50 magnum and shot at Log. He missed, but the bullet took off his eyebrow and got Dr. X right between the eyes. He then hit the water and drowned, and Dr. X ended up in his tombstone. Log became very worried, If he died his team would be no more, and if he fled his team would lose the war and seven-eighths of his weapons would go to the winner. He took out his invisibility utility (Hey, that rhymes) and used it._

_By DragonFace and Tomb._

"Tomb," DragonFace spoke portentously.

"Yes sir," Tomb asked worriedly.

"We need you. I am the only worm remaining."

"Well, this is shaping up to be the quickest war ever."

"I know, It's only been four hours and there are only five worms remaining: Me, you, Sigurn, Log, and Crashing."

"Hey, we have the most worms still remaining."

"That's because we brought four worms, while they only brought three."

_Will you two stop chit-chatting and get on with the war._

"We will in our own time," DragonFace yelled.

"Heh, I never thought I'd hear a Russian person say chit-chatting," Tomb said slyly.

_Oh, shut-up I'm leaving._

_Nearby, with Sigurn._

"Yes, we have the great and mighty Sigurn cornered," said Crashing, speaking to Log.

"I know, there is no way he can escape or survive," Log replied.

_At that moment DragonFace and Tomb showed up._

"DragonFace, I think this is the perfect chance to remove Sigurn from existence forever," Tomb spoke.

"And keep our winning streak alive, destroy the Gods, which is the only team to ever beat ours in a war? Of course I'm in," replied DragonFace.

_So all the worms surrounded him and killed him. The End._

_Just kidding. The worms advanced on him, Crashing threw the first punch. Sigurn deftly dodged the dim doofus, and discarded the dumbfounded dork. Crashing flew and crashed into Log. Sigurn immediately disappeared, no flash of light, no puff of smoke, he was just… gone. There one moment, gone the next. There was a small pop as air rushed in to fill the spot but that was it. Tomb was knocked for six, then shouted up, "Stop using that dictionary for UK speech, it might not be correct." To which I shouted down __I'll use whatever words I very well please!__ Suddenly DragonFace was thrown and smashed his head against a brick wall. Two death bangs in thirty seconds. Soon Tomb was picked up and spun around by the Sigurn that appeared at that moment and was promptly smashed into Crashing, who went flying and hit the window of the Evil Team. Joe Bananas was staring out the window when this happened. Crashing hit the window all cartoon-like and his face flattened against it. Joe Bananas screamed, then yelled, "Get off my window you idiot!" Sigurn then threw Tomb, he went flying and crashed into the gravestone of Log, smashing it open and releasing him. Tomb then exploded, leaving the gravestone. For the Gods: Celtic Cross  
><em>_The Elite Force: an Eye  
><em>_Liquid Silk: Statue  
><em>_Team Chesh: Obelisk  
><em>_Now, if you might be asking, If Sigurn can disappear why did he use the Emergency Teleport? The answer is simple, they forget. Changing the subject. Crashing ran for the hills, forfeiting the war (Not really, he was just scared). No one was left on the Elite Force. And Log was hiding in a Giant Watermelon. Sigurn looked around, then disappeared. _

_(Fade in. Exterior.)_

_(Zooms in on Tomb's Tombstone) "God, I hate doing this." __***Crumble* *Crash* *Ow* **__(Exuberantly) "There we are."_

_(Zooms out slightly) "Yes! I'm out!"_

_(Camera pans around land visible) "Good, Sigurn's not here."_

_(Angrily) "Stop writing a screenplay! I'm not even sure you're doing it right!"_

_(Sighs, defeated) Fine, be on your merry way. I'm done._

_(Mumbling under breath) Everybody's a critic._

_(Fade out)_

"Now I can use a lightning strike on DragonFace," Tomb thought aloud.

_ZzzzzzBZZZZZZT *Boom* (See what I did there, onomatopoeia). _

"DragonFace! *Gasp* Don't move, there is a sentry gun right there."

"Great, that's just great, I'm revived and now I'm going to die _again. _And why did you say Gasp, without actually gasping." DragonFace snarled.

"Don't worry," Tomb said confidently, "I have an idea. And because I can't gasp."

_*Gasp*_

_Tomb then jumped in front of the Sentry Gun and yelled at DragonFace to run. The gun unleashed a spray of bullets. Tomb ended up back in his gravestone. "God, I hate doing this." __***Crumble* *Crash* *Ow*. **__Tomb was back out just as DragonFace threw a grenade at the Sentry Gun. _

"Okay then, let's win this war," Tomb resolved.

* * *

><p>Sorry about those pesky plot-holes. I'm sure I stumbled into quite a few of them. If the story is very confusing, it's because music influences the quality. You'll know the worst parts because my sister started blasting the annoying Barbie song and other miscellaneous horrible pop, hip-hop, and rock songs (I apologize to all lovers of that music, I just don't see how you can like it. That's just my opinion). I tried to drown it out with Camille Saint-Saens Symphony No. 3 (Finale), and was slightly successful. Also at what I believe to be the best part, I was listening to Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 5 in E-minor (Again, Finale. Excuse me, I was short on time). Sorry, rambling again, 1 to 2 chapters remaining.<p>

Questions still remaining:

How will the war affect all worm kind?

Where is my pen? (Seriously, I think someone stole it)

Why won't I stop asking questions? (This question may or may not have an answer)

New questions:

Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?

How did Tomb get his name?

Am I doing a good job?

Why am I using parenthesis so much?

Will I get a review?


	4. The Conspiracy Revealed

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Worms, now stop bugging me you stupid voices.**

* * *

><p>Joe Bananas was staring out his window. So far everything was going exceptionally well, many worms were dead, if only more would be killed, and then teams would be wiped out of existence. Maybe Mao was right after all, this could work. Suddenly there was a thud at his window, he saw a worm's face squished up against it. The worm was easily identified, after all only one worm had a nasty X-shaped scar running between his eyes.<p>

"Sigurn," he yelled, "What the hell are you doing on my window?"

"My jet pack malfunctioned," came the drained reply.

"How so?"

"Well, I thought that using a parachute and a jet pack at the same time would work."

"That's not machinery error, that's worm error."

_That reminds me: to err is human, to really screw up you need a computer._

"Hey," Joe Bananas yelled up, "we're not humans!"

_You know, a computer is a quick way to make multiple mistakes._

"Shut-up!"

_Swing low sweet chariot, coming forth to carry me home._

"Really, Sigurn there will kill you."

_No, please don't, I be good, I promise. *Then I will gladly betray you to my master*._

"What!"

_Kidding, just kidding. I'll be on my way._

"Swing low sweet chariot, coming forth to carry me home," Sigurn started singing.

"Shut-up."

"Fine, I'll ride away. By the way, could you clack some coconuts while I'm leaving?"

"Sure."

_So Sigurn rode off into the sunset, and Joe Bananas continued his evil plotting. Now I shall play dramatic music in the background as a tense battle approaches. (Plays Dance of the Knights by Prokofiev.) Luckily, Tomb found this music appropriate, as he was donning full medieval armour._

"Hey," Tomb shouted, "You spelled armor differently."

_No I didn't, I always spell it that way._

"You do? Oh, should DragonFace wear armor to?"

_If he agrees._

"Yay, exclamation point!"

"No," DragonFace screamed, "Wait, what are we talking about? Question Mark."

_Is this the day of stating your punctuation?_

"No, comma, and what are we talking about?"

"Quotation mark, will you wear medieval armor, question mark?"

"No!" DragonFace yelled, dragging it on for 76 seconds.

_It's not unusual to-_

**Shut up you insolent, abject failure.**

_No, please don't smite me._

**Don't worry about that. I'm just annoyed with your show-tunes.**

_Oh, whew. I was scared for a few minutes there._

"Hey," Tomb yelled, "where are we going?"

_That way __à_

"Why should we listen to you," DragonFace yelled, "You always give away the plot."

_Not this time. I've not told you where you are going. Now I'm going to screw up someone else's life._

_**Log**_

_Hey, Log! I'm going to screw up your life now!_

"Oh, sounds like fun," Log said, his voice mysteriously happy.

_You need to go somewhere._

"Really, where to?"

_That way._

"Yay, we're going to the carnival."

_Quick, his medication wore off again._

**I know, it wears off every 2 and a half minutes.**

_Can you administer his medication?_

**Alas, no.**

_Crashing, Uther! Get over here._

"My father is not here, I can help," yelled Arthur.

**When you said Uther did you mean Uther Pendragon?**

"Yes he did, for I am Arthur, King of the Britons."

_As soon as these words left Arthur's lips you could see the caffeine rush out of Log's system, along with the pot, coke, morphine, alcohol, LSD, glue, tobacco, sharpie marker, gasoline, spray paint, urine, electrical current, valium, rubbing alcohol, owls, dictionaries, breakfast cereals, orangutans, aura, brain waves, medication, liquid crystal, crystal meth, bacteria, eukaryotes, prokaryotes, chicken legs, viruses, geese, mosquitoes, and C4. (I do not condone using any of the materials listed above. __**Do Not Use!**__ Wait… you can use the breakfast cereals, dictionaries, brain waves, and aura. You have no choice with the eukaryotes and prokaryotes and viruses.)_

_Never mind, you can go now, all the drugs are out of his system. Crashing, you go that way too._

_The Evil Team Base._

"Ming, Mao," yelled Joe Bananas, "front and center."

"What is it," asked Ming, "Yertigonilt is sleeping."

"That's okay, I only yelled for you and Mao.""I'm here," said Mao, panting, "sorry, Yertigonilt attacked me."

"Really, anyway I wanted to talk to you about the newspaper article-"

"What, what!" yelled Mao. "Is it not working?"

"No no, it's working fine, perfectly, fantastically, brilliantly, wonderfully, marvelously, superbly, magnificently, grandly, gloriously, beautifully, etc. etc."

"What about it then?"

"We may achieve world domination this way. Any more brilliant ideas?"

"No," was the simple answer.

"Where do I come in?" asked Ming.

"I think we may need to go out there and dispatch the final worms," said Joe Bananas.

"You mean like bayoneting the wounded," asked Mao.

"Yes!"

"We should wait."

"Why?"

"There are four worms and Sigurn out there."

"Oh, (in thick cockney accent) and 'ow do you pr'pose we git him?" (Sorry, not good at typing in accents.)

"Well… we need 4 holy sages, 3 wooden stakes, 2 silver bullets, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Really? A partridge?"

"No, a cursed bullet'll do."

"That's a lot."

"Well that's just from the rumors."

"It really is 1 wooden bullet, 1 silver bullet, 1 bullet dipped in holy water, and 1 cursed bullet," Ming broke in."

Joe Bananas then asked, "What is he, part wereworm, part vampire, part demon, and part angel?"

"No, he's part wereworm, part vampire, part demon, part angel, part teenage mutant ninja turtle, part dictionary, part Sasquatch, part Hyde, part Ninja, part Spartan, part ghost, part Smartphone, part bin Laden, part android, part terminator, part Time Lord, descendant of King Arthur, and Chuck Norris' brother," came the lengthy reply.

"Does that mean DragonFace is the same?" asked a very worried Joe Bananas.

"No, only one worm of every six hundred sixty six generations gets it"

"But that's an evil number."

"No it isn't."

"How?"

"What is six plus six plus six?"

"Eighteen."

"What's one plus eight?"

"Nine."

What's the square root of nine?"

"Three."

"What is the holy trinity?"

"Three," came the final, defeated reply.

"At one point he was trained by a ninja."

"What was his name?"

"Ninjaworm."

_Meanwhile, outside Joe Banana's door. Dun Dun __**Dun**__. This cannot be good for evil plots and evil plot-holes can it?_

_Tomb was standing outside Joe Bananas door about to knock and ask if he could go to the bathroom. He heard voices talking about Sigurn and just had to investigate. He soon realized who the voices belonged to and was even more willing to eavesdrop._

"_I think we may need to go out there and dispatch the final worms," he heard one voice say._

"_You mean like bayoneting the wounded," he heard another voice say._

_He was listening for a while longer and at one point heard a newspaper article mentioned. Then he heard the words "evil plot" and "World Domination" then realized he had heard enough and ran off to DragonFace to solve the matter once and for all. He had just realized that the Evil Team was behind this entire war. They sent the newspaper article, they gathered all the teams here, they were watching and waiting to finish off all the worms, and when they did they were going to take over the world. The shocking news had to be reported immediately, to save all worm kind._

* * *

><p>One chapter remaining. All will be revealed, hopefully. Sorry about the dodgy end, my evil sister started blasting music, and this time she was blasting it to the point of me being incapable of drowning it out even if I had used a jet engine.<p>

Sigurn: Get to the point already!

Me: Fine, questions remaining:

Where is my pen? (I think my sister stole it)

Why won't I stop asking questions? (This question may or may not have an answer)

Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?

How did Tomb get his name?

Am I doing a good job?

Will I get a review?

Shall all be reversed before it is too late?

Sigurn: Stop with the questions! You're making my head hurt.


	5. The Worst Luck

_Tomb squirmed as fast as he could. Over hills and dales, through giant lettuce patches and corn mazes. He was moving that fast so he could get to DragonFace quickly. He had to be warned of the impending doom, the Evil Team could not be allowed to succeed._

_Meanwhile, near DragonFace._

"In order to win this war," started an annoying worm with a high-pitched voice and slight British accent, "we have to work together. If we do not, both of our teams will be destroyed."

_At that moment Sigurn squirmed up._

"Is Freya bugging you," he asked DragonFace.

"Yep," came the short reply.

_So Sigurn pulled out a baseball bat and hit Freya with it. Freya went flying over an enormous apple and landed on a mine that detonated instantly. He flew up even higher and hit another mine that again detonated instantly. That second mine sent him flying back up over the apple and ended up face planting him right where he started. Sigurn grabbed him by the tail and dragged him away, no questions asked._

"Sigurn," complained Freya while spitting out a mouthful of dirt, "what the hell was that for?"

"No alliances, that's final."

"But we need to work together."

"Why did I use _another_ lightning strike on you instead of Rhubarb?"

"Because I'm dependable," suggested Freya.

"Of course not. Why are you going to succeed me when I die and not Rhubarb?"

"Because I need to learn sometime," suggested Freya again.

"No more witty remarks out of you."

_What about me? Can I make witty remarks?_

"I'm fine with you Russian narrator, it's Freya that bugs me."

_Tomb was still running (or squirming, I still have yet to figure out a good verb). Through Giant Watermelons (scientific name: Giantus Watermelonus) and brick walls. Over valleys and through mountains. Under bridges and over water, nothing could stop him. Except the ocean, he realized he had come too far and turned around. Over water and under bridges, through mountains and over valleys etc._

**Crashing v. Log**

"_Okay Crashing, take this," yelled Log as he hit Crashing with a baseball bat (the weapon of choice for the most hyperactive worm in the world). Crashing ducked just enough to allow the baseball bat to hit his metal hat. The force of the hit caused the baseball bat to shatter and vibrations to be sent throughout Log's body (like a reverse bell). The hit also gave Crashing a headache, but that did not bother him. While Log was still shaking Crashing pulled out a shotgun and promptly hit Log with the butt. Log's head drilled into the ground, he ripped it out, jumped up, and started shooting at Crashing with a paintball gun. He was dodging and weaving as if he was in __The Matrix__. He then proceeded to rip off Log's left hand (do not worry, it is prosthetic) and started hitting him with it like one of those white gloves. Log then grabbed a white glove and they continued fighting by slapping each other in the face with white gloves. Interestingly enough Log's prosthetic hand was holding a white glove, so Crashing was holding a hand that was holding a glove. After going on like that for about thirty minutes Crashing pulled out a grenade and pulled the pin on it, Tomb chose that precise moment to come barreling over the nearby hill, crashing into Crashing (into crashing into crashing into crashing). The grenade flew into the air and fell down Log's throat. Tomb got up, shoved his hand down Log's throat, retrieved the grenade, took off Crashing's helmet, put the grenade on the ground, and finally put the helmet over the grenade. The grenade was a dud so Tomb picked up the helmet and the grenade, put Crashing's helmet back on, and shoved the grenade back down Log's throat. How exactly does a grenade fall down ones throat? Anyway, Tomb then yelled, "We've got to find DragonFace!" And proceeded to charge over the nearest hill, to which Crashing yelled, "Wrong way!" Tomb came barreling back over the hill, and went over dale, which was in the direction he had to go._

_**DragonFace**_

"DragonFace," yelled Tomb as he came stampeding over Dale.

"Hey, what was that for," yelled Dale.

"DragonFace," Tomb yelled again.

"What do you want," yelled DragonFace. _He then saw Log and Crashing come stampeding over Hill and Dale (they are very unlucky worms) and yelled, "Look out!" Quick as Flash, he pulled out a Sniper rifle and shot off Log's left hand and Crashing's right eyebrow in one shot._

"No," Tomb screamed, "don't shoot them!"

"Why not," DragonFace screamed back.

"Because there is a plot of most evil proportions."

"Proportions evil most of plot a is there because?"

"Exactly."

_Now I am confused._

"Whenever something comes as a total surprise," explained Tomb, "He repeats what was just said backwards."

"Nialpxe," said DragonFace

"Well, the Evil Team bought the newspaper, printed the story, gathered the four strongest teams here, and now is plotting to bayonet all the wounded. World Domination."

_What did he say?_

"He said explain backwards, so I explained."

_But not backwards._

"We need Sigurn," exclaimed DragonFace.

"Here I am," announced Sigurn moments before he appeared out of thin air. _Not there one moment, there the next. Actually, it was more like the Cheshire cat, his smile appeared first, then his scar, then his hat (a Tam o' Shanter), then finally the rest of him appeared._

"Sigurn," shouted Tomb, "where is Freya, and we need to sotp the Evil Team."

"Why did you just say sotp instead of stop? Freya should appear in a few moments, and I know."

_At that moment Freya appeared._

"Stop dragging me through parallel dimensions to get from place to place, only you can do that, it gives everyone else tuberculosis for a week."

"Sorry, I was in a rush," Tomb and Sigurn answered simultaneously, for their own questions.

_**?**_

"Bad Wolf 1 ready for take-off, over."

"Doomsday 3 also ready, over"

"Exploding Bird 666 ready. Waiting for Peace Breaker 2, Cravat Man 4, Conspiracy Freak 6, and Technical Genius ."

"Technical Genius ready, over"

"Peace Breaker 2 ready also, over."

"Cravat Man 4 ready, over."

"Conspiracy Freak 6 finished pre take-off protocols, ready for take-off, over."

"Death Squadron 3 cleared for take-off."

_**The Last Great Battle**_

"Left, right, left, right, le-"

"Sigurn, we don't have feet, therefore we don't step left then right or vice-verse," remarked Tomb.

"Sorry," Sigurn replied.

"Here we are," announced Crashing, "Let's knock up the door."

"You mean knock on, right," asked Tomb, praying.

"Sure, let's say I meant that."

***Thud* *Thud* *Thud***

"Sigurn," yelled Tomb, "what the ***Thud*** hell was that?"

"Well, in the time ***Thud*** it took you and Crashing to talk about knocking ***Thud*** up the door."

"He was talking about that ***Thud***, I was correcting him," protested ***Thud*** Tomb.

"Whatever, anyway I went to Arrakis, stole a ***Thud*** thumper from the Fremen, came back, and ***Thud*** placed it on the aforementioned door."

_At that precise _***Thud*** _door, er, I mean moment, _***Thud***_ Banana Joe, wait… Joe Bananas _***Thud***_ doored through the enter _***Thud* **_yelled._

"Get that f- ***Thud*** -g thumper out of my f- ***Thud*** -g door!"

"No, we have to talk to you," bellowed Sigurn.

"Crap, Ming, Mao, Yertigonilt, get the ***Thud*** here."

"What," the three yelled in ***Thud*** unison as soon as they arrived.

"We have deadly ***Thud*** company."

"What's with the thumper," asked ***Thud*** Yertigonilt.

"Sigurn, get rid of ***Thud*** that."

"Fine." So ***Thud*** Sigurn grabbed it and threw it up, ***Thud*** back towards Arrakis.

"What do you lot want?"

"You are in serious trouble."

"Why?"

"Because you bought the newspaper, printed the story, gathered the four strongest teams here, and now are plotting to bayonet all the wounded and World Domination."

"Run my team, run," roared Joe Bananas.

"Get them," bellowed Sigurn.

_So the chase _***Bonk* *Thud*.**_What the hell, the thumper landed on my head, well at least it bro- _***Thud* *****Thud* *****Thud* *****Thud* *****Thud* *****Thud*** _-ken. So the chase began, Sigurn chased Joe Bananas, Tomb chased Ming, Freya chased Mao, and Crashing started loading Log up with caffeine to chase Yertigonilt. Over Hill and Dale Tomb dashed, over canyons and under water, through steel walls and around Sigurn, he ran until he heard DragonFace's voice, "We have a car you imbecile!" So Tomb hopped in the car and started driving. Over mowed lawns, and through sheetrock, crashing through trees and corn, carefully avoiding Giant Watermelons, then he saw Mao, standing in front of a lake. Tomb hopped out of the car and was getting ready to beat the crap out of him. He put on spiked gloves and slowly approached him._

"_Stop," Mao yelled, "For I have Amoeba trapped." Amoeba was the fourth member of the Gods; he was dangling on a rope over water. "If you attack me, he dies." Tomb heeded his warning and stopped approaching. Then some strange noises started to come from Amoeba, Glub, Blub, Bubble. Suddenly a Giant Walking Catfish emerged from the water, but alas, Mao did not notice._

"_Mao," yelled Tomb, trying to spare a casualty, "Look behind you!" Mao turned around and saw the catfish and tried to yell scream, but only succeeded in Scre- before the catfish lunged forward and ate the pudgy little worm. The catfish looked at Tomb, then at Amoeba, and retreated back into the water. Suddenly, a lightning bolt hit Tomb like an idea, wait… flip those around. He remembered that Amoeba could speak fish. (Somewhere along the chasing lines Tomb and Freya flipped mice.)_

"_His name is Froderick," said Amoeba, "he's my pet."_

_**Freya**_

_Freya caught up to Ming and beat the crap out of him within 30 seconds._

_**Log**_

_Log was chasing Yertigonilt with 76 Red bulls in his system, with 110 coffees right behind, and they were followed by rows and rows of the greatest Mountain Dews. He charged right over Yertigonilt, ran completely around the world, and ran over Yertigonilt again. He skidded to a stop, turned around and picked him up. As Log was lifting Yertigonilt he was punched in the face, then slapped in the face, then kicked in the face, then bitten in the face. So Log threw him upwards, pulled out a baseball bat and hit him the moment he was within strike range. Yertigonilt went flying and crashed into a steel wall._

_**?**_

"Bad Wolf 1 nearing Harvest Island, over."

"We hear you loud and clear, over."

"Exploding Bird 666 here, shall we prepare the air strikes, over?"

"Confirmed, Cravat Man 4, over and out."

_**Sigurn v. Joe Bananas**_

"It's now or never Sigurn," Joe Bananas spoke first.

"We both know that if you escape now there will be more battles," Sigurn replied.

"So it ends here."

"Agreed." _So a battle began. Who would win, Joe Bananas, the battle genius or Sigurn, the ultimate warrior? The two circled each other, planning their tactics. An epic battle between Sigurn, son of PurpleLite and Joe Bananas, son of DragonFace. Sigurn threw the first punch, Joe Bananas barely avoided it and Sigurn's fist crashed into a steel wall, shattering it. Joe Bananas grabbed Sigurn's head and smashed it into the wall. Sigurn grabbed the hand off his head and flipped the worm attached to it. He then punched down towards Joe Bananas face, he dodged and the fist left a crater and caused an earthquake 5 miles away. Joe Bananas seized the opportunity and shoved a grenade down Sigurn's throat, in response to that Sigurn threw Joe Bananas straight up in the air. The grenade exploded and left Sigurn with a mild case of gas. As Joe Bananas was flying, he looked due west and the sight shocked him, seven bombers headed straight for the island. He came plummeting back to Earth and started running towards his nearest boat. Unfortunately, Sigurn seized his tail, swung him over his head, and piled him into the ground. He crawled away spitting out dirt and said to Sigurn, "It's the Military Worms. They are coming." Brief history lesson: The Military Worms are an army for a ruthless dictator controlling 86% of the Mainland, 23% of the Island Chain, the Arctic Circle, Antarctica, 98% of the ocean floor, and the Sea of Tranquility. They have been enemies of the worm group living on the Island Chain since 3 years after the worms landed there. A small army of worms on the Mainland has been holding off the military for a while, and the Island Chain is close to driving them out. An even bigger problem is that the dictator is immortal. At one point Joe Bananas was a General for the island chain and led a force that drove control of the Island Chain by the dictator from 99.99% to 13%, and control of the Mainland from 100% to 50% without ever fighting there. He then resigned. So if you were wondering, how Joe Bananas could take over the world while there is such a large empire, the answer is that he could take over the planet with a spoon a rubber band. The only reason he has not (well, there's two) 1.) Sigurn is there to stop him. 2.) Vultures who are even more skilled than him would swoop in after he succeeded, vultures like Sigurn, Tomb, and DragonFace's evil twins, and some aliens that have been watching and waiting. And, just in case you were wondering, Sigurn, the youngest of the three is 75 years old. (what I mean by the three is DragonFace, Sigurn, and Dragon. Tomb is DragonFace's son.) End history lesson._

"The Military Worms," Exclaimed an appalled Sigurn.

"Yes, I- I- I saw 7 bombers, I recognized t- t- two. Bad Wolf 1 and Doomsday 3," stammered Joe Bananas.

"Their two most powerful bombers.

_**Military Worms**_

"Bad Wolf 1 here, almost over Harvest Island, prepare multiple runs, over."

"Doomsday 3 here, sink that pesky little island. Joe Bananas is there, over."

_**Harvest Island**_

"Quickly, we must get off this island," remarked DragonFace, "Gather your tombstones, hurry."

_Worms were scrambling all over the place, hurrying to gather fallen comrades. Everywhere they squirmed, running into each other, running into thin air and screaming._

"_Where is Mao," Joe Bananas screamed._

"_He was eaten," Tomb yelled back. The buzzing from the planes was getting louder each second, sending worms into an even bigger panic. The first plane dropped an air strike, effectively destroying the corn._

"_Quickly, we are running out of time," yelled Sigurn over the panic._

_The second set of air strikes dropped, almost killing Crashing and destroying half the lettuce._

"_Everyone who has gathered all tombstones, head to the dock," Log yelled, all the caffeine scared out of him, along with everything mentioned in the previous chapter involving Arthur. Three more air strikes were dropped, destroying the grapes, the caves where mushrooms are grown, and the coconut tree with the swallow nest._

"_Quickly," yelled Joe Bananas, "Only two bombers left, Bad Wolf 1 and Doomsday 3. They have the most powerful bombs." As he said that Bad Wolf 1 dropped one of its bombs. All the worms stopped and watched the first bomb plummeted to the ground, heading straight for the Evil Team base. It crashed through the roof and landed on the ground, but did not detonate._

"_Yes," cheered Yertigonilt, "It's a dud!" At that moment they saw Bad Wolf 1 flying around, with a worm leaning out the side. He had a huge grin on his face and was holding a button. The worms knew what that meant. They watched in horror as he clicked the button in slow motion. The fallen bomb detonated, completely disintegrating the base, sending all land around the base flying, and flash boiling several feet of water. Luckily, the worms were safely out of harms way, they all screamed in unison and started to run for the boats. Another bomber flew over them and destroyed the dock with an air strike. Now they were trapped with Doomsday 3 about to drop its bomb. Sigurn was watching the sky, clearly he had seen something. Joe Bananas was looking up too, following Sigurns gaze. He saw something very large and glinting in the light._

"_I forgot about that," realized Joe Bananas, "a forty pound diamond." They continued watching as the diamond, somehow unscathed by the blast, started to fall. It fell, and fell, straight towards Doomsday 3, estimated by Sigurn. Doomsday 3 flew right under it at just the perfect time, the diamond ripped clean through the plane, barely missing the explosive load it was carrying. The plane started to roll, heading straight for the ocean._

"_Bad Wolf 1, come in, I'm going down, over." Then it crashed into the ocean and sunk._

"_That's all fine and dandy," exclaimed Sigurn, "but we still need to get off this island." At that moment, directly behind them they heard of voice._

"_Hop on, the island's only going to last so long." The worms all turned around and were shocked by the sight. There was Amoeba riding a catfish._

"_Froderick is ready, he can swim through salt water, keeping his back above water. Although, just in case we are chased, wear your worm gear." Worm gear is to worms as scuba diving gear is to humans, they are both used to stay underwater for an extended period of time. So the worms hopped on the back of the rare Giant Walking Catfish, and set off._

"_Exploding Bird 666 come in, over"_

"_Exploding Bird here, what is it Bad Wolf 1, over."_

"_Chase that giant catfish, over."_

"_Copy that, over and out."_

"_Guys," yelled Amoeba._

"_What," they all asked in unison."_

"_Put your Worm Gear on. We're being chased." So Amoeba made some more weird sounds, and Froderick started to descend._

"_I'm losing them, over."_

"_Fine, return to the island and help me finish it off, over."_

"_Copy that, over and out."_

_Several hours later the Giant Walking Catfish emerged near the Science Factory, a large building mostly underground that a very large group of scientists collaborate in order to create new weapons, utilities, etc. This island is one of the only two to use telepads, the other being the Gods. At that moment the Head Scientist, Einstein (not Albert), came out to greet them._

"_Hello, you've arrived just in time to test my newest creation."_

"_Not right now," Sigurn said, "Harvest Island is gone. We just want to get home."_

"_Well what about the dead, you need to revive them."_

"_Okay, we'll do that, by the way, what is the new creation?"_

"_Check this out, Explosion in a Jar. For every explosive you use, half the blast strength is put into this jar. The power a dud mine would have had is put into the jar also. When you are ready to use it you throw it and when it breaks it releases the total blast strength that you have gathered. Therefore, the longer you wait, the more powerful it is."_

"_Cool, who're you going to test it on?"_

"_You remember that scientist that tested one of his inventions on himself."_

"_Yes, I remember."_

"_He turned into a giant horrible Mutant Worm that we shoved into the titanium closet. From that point on we've sent someone in to sedate him, then we chained him up and tested weapons on him."_

"_Good luck, we're going now." So all the worms returned to their original teams, except Evil Team, who had to find a new base._

_**Epilogue**_

"Sigurn, wake up," pestered Tomb, "We've been hired to find a new Harvest Island."

"Ugh," grumbled Sigurn, "Fine."

"According to the list," started Tomb.

"There's a list?"

"Yep. Qualifications:  
>1. Must have fertile soil.<br>2. Must have source of freshwater on it.  
>3. Must be fairly large.<br>4. Must be undetectable to the Military Worms.  
>5. Must have a cave system.<br>6. Must not be battle ravaged.  
>7. There must not be mines or oil barrels under any circumstances.<br>8. If any worms are located there, drive them off.  
>9. If any weapon supplies are found, confiscate them."<p>

"That's a long list."

"You should've seen the list Einstein made last week. It had 4,638,556,384,628 items on it, and that was just the shopping list!"

"Well then, let's go find the perfect island."

_**To Be Continued… **__Yes, I'm still alive! The Russian narrator lives._

* * *

><p>The War of Harvest Island has been finished. I've been working on this chapter for 7 hours straight, then I had to sleep, then I started working on it again for another hour. I became slightly depressed when I had to sleep, I wanted to finish it that bad. This is what I believe to be the best chapter. Also sorry about Technical Genius missing the number, I tried to get pi in there but was unable to. Questions: (Please answer, I might need to make answers more obvious).<p>

Where is my pen? (still haven't found it)

Why won't I stop asking questions? (This question may or may not have an answer)

Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?

How did Tomb get his name? (This should be obvious)

Have I done a good job?


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